Anonymous said: i'm new to strength training but i'm enjoying it and get my workouts in everyday. sticking to a decent diet is so hard for me though and i'm starting to look bulky rather than lean. what can a beginner do during a first "cut"? what should my diet look like? the interwebz are giving me a crazy range of advice.

neither one of us are nutritionists. what works for us may not work for you or your body type, metabolic rate, personal goals, etc. if you’re getting bulky as a beginner it’s totally diet, which you’re aware of, but i don’t even know anything about you to even try and answer this. 

if you’re a beginner you shouldn’t really worry about bulking/cutting though, just get stronger. eat when you’re hungry and don’t eat like complete shit all the time is my only advice.

tbh i never looked bulky even when i gained 12lb in the last 3 months by doing no cardio and eating a ton of shit - which goes to show you, everyone’s body is different. i had 5 eggs and 2 poptarts and bacon and an orange and spinach and 12oz of milk for breakfast. i’m still a tiny female. shrug.

good luck and have fun and welcome to the world of lifting all the things!

-Tina

60 deadlifts at half your 1RM (95#) leads to a sore ass, hamstrings on fire, ans bruised shins.

60 deadlifts at half your 1RM (95#) leads to a sore ass, hamstrings on fire, ans bruised shins.

animalstalkinginallcaps:

WHAT AM I DOING? I’M JUICING MY PECS, BRO! GOT TO GET THEM PECS JUICED UP! FOR THE BABES!
PLUS I’M SO JACKED UP ON N.O. XPLODE AND ECA STACKS I FEEL LIKE I’M GOING TO HAVE A GODDAMNED HEART ATTACK. I CAN’T FEEL MY LEGS BUT I AM CRANKING THESE REPS OUT, YOU HEARD? I AM SO SWOLE UP I’M GONNA POP! BRO, FEEL MY TITTIES. TOUCH THEM.
JUST KIDDING, YOU CAN’T! YOU’LL BREAK YOUR FINGERS, BRO!
THAT’S WHAT’S UP! WOOOOOO!

animalstalkinginallcaps:

WHAT AM I DOING? I’M JUICING MY PECS, BRO! GOT TO GET THEM PECS JUICED UP! FOR THE BABES!

PLUS I’M SO JACKED UP ON N.O. XPLODE AND ECA STACKS I FEEL LIKE I’M GOING TO HAVE A GODDAMNED HEART ATTACK. I CAN’T FEEL MY LEGS BUT I AM CRANKING THESE REPS OUT, YOU HEARD? I AM SO SWOLE UP I’M GONNA POP! BRO, FEEL MY TITTIES. TOUCH THEM.

JUST KIDDING, YOU CAN’T! YOU’LL BREAK YOUR FINGERS, BRO!

THAT’S WHAT’S UP! WOOOOOO!

can we talk about how fucked up the food pyramid is?
yeah, let me load up on empty calories (even though i’m a carb addict) and moderately eat protein from dairy and meat and rarely eat fats like nuts and olive oil and avocados are bad for you or something (hint: they’re not) - they shouldn’t even be in the same category as “sweets” at all.
my ideal food pyramind:  veggies on the bottom tier, second tier meats and fats, third tier dairy and fruit, top tier grains and everything else. 
not knocking carbs, but your body doesn’t need toast in the morning and some oatmeal and a sandwich with 2 slices of bread in the afternoon and then pasta at night and a cupcake for dessert. even if you’re a cardiowhore. holy glycemic index, batman.
and let me continue to say that today i ate captain crunch and macaroni and cheese. for breakfast. but ok i had paleo chicken and veggie soup for dinner so everything turned out ok.
everything in moderation, guyz
-Tina

can we talk about how fucked up the food pyramid is?

yeah, let me load up on empty calories (even though i’m a carb addict) and moderately eat protein from dairy and meat and rarely eat fats like nuts and olive oil and avocados are bad for you or something (hint: they’re not) - they shouldn’t even be in the same category as “sweets” at all.

my ideal food pyramind:  veggies on the bottom tier, second tier meats and fats, third tier dairy and fruit, top tier grains and everything else. 

not knocking carbs, but your body doesn’t need toast in the morning and some oatmeal and a sandwich with 2 slices of bread in the afternoon and then pasta at night and a cupcake for dessert. even if you’re a cardiowhore. holy glycemic index, batman.

and let me continue to say that today i ate captain crunch and macaroni and cheese. for breakfast. but ok i had paleo chicken and veggie soup for dinner so everything turned out ok.

everything in moderation, guyz

-Tina

Holiday fitnezz

If you’re prone to overindulgence around the holidays like I am, you can use the extra calories as an opportunity to try to add muscle mass to underdeveloped areas.

With 8 days until Thanksgiving, I’m doing some mild cutting right now - a little extra cardio, slightly (~250-500/day) fewer calories. Once the turkey and mashed potatoes and gravy (not to mention leftovers) start rolling in, I’ll be transitioning to heavy leg and core lifting, since those are my main focus right now.

By planning ahead, you can use the calories to build some muscle, and since muscle mass raises your metabolism to the tune of ~50-75 calories per pound (of muscle) per day, you’re making a long-term investment when it comes time to start cutting down in the spring - your body will be using more calories on its own, making it easier to trim unwanted winter fat.

-Mike.

moretocome said: When you say 65#, do you mean including the bar or not? I think I know the answer, without the bar, but is there a standard bar weight?

when i say that, i include the bar. standard bars are 45lbs (this is also the “olympic weight” and the weight ones you find at most gyms unless otherwise stated).

so, in the case of the guy squatting 65# - he had a 45# bar with a 10# plate on each side.

at my crossfit box they also have “women’s bars” that are 35# (and smaller for my little baby hands! i have the worst grip.) and “technique bars” that are 15#.


Anorexic Woman at Gym Looking Good



CHICAGO—Citing her shapeless physique, protruding skeleton, and jaundiced complexion, gym members exercising at a local Equinox Fitness Club on Friday confirmed that the anorexic woman working out on the first floor is looking good.
“Oh, man, she looks amazing,” Equinox member John Stevens said while watching the 80-pound sexpot walk across the floor in a tight spandex outfit that exposed her distended stomach, sinewy musculature, and thin, translucent skin. “She’s totally hot.”
“She’s here all the time, and whenever I see her, all I can think about is running my hands along her protuberant vertebrae all the way down to her shriveled ass,” he continued, glancing up from his treadmill once more to get a good look at the woman’s seductive, shrunken breasts and long, corpselike legs. “Man, I just want to take her home and break her in half. It wouldn’t be that hard.”
According to Equinox staff members, the gorgeous emaciated woman joined the fitness center two years ago when she moved to the city for work, and immediately drew attention for being an absolute knockout, especially with her gaunt face and prematurely aged body. Since then, male and female members alike have frequently asked the identity of the stunning young woman with boney clavicles, jagged kneecaps, and sunken, hollow cheekbones.
Staffers said that just last week, no fewer than five secret admirers approached the information kiosk to inquire about the skeletal, withered woman who works out on the same treadmill every morning at 6 a.m.
“I don’t know what’s cuter, the way her sports bra clings to her flattened chest as she sweats, the way her elbows stick out at acute angles when she pumps her spindly arms, or the fact that you can wrap your hands all the way around the circumference of her thighs,” an anonymous admirer told reporters, adding that he gets “really turned on” whenever she bends over and flaunts her jutting tailbone. “The curves of her rib cage, the stunning watery eyes, the patch of shiny scalp peeking through her brittle, thinning hair—she’s basically got the whole package.”
“I mean, she obviously works hard for it,” he added, noting her rigorous workout routine and apparent commitment to starving herself. “I wonder if she’s single. Wait, what am I saying? There’s no way she is. Not with a cadaverous body like that.”
At press time, the anorexic hottie was on her sixth mile on the treadmill, looking as ravishing and underfed as ever.

Anorexic Woman at Gym Looking Good

CHICAGO—Citing her shapeless physique, protruding skeleton, and jaundiced complexion, gym members exercising at a local Equinox Fitness Club on Friday confirmed that the anorexic woman working out on the first floor is looking good.

“Oh, man, she looks amazing,” Equinox member John Stevens said while watching the 80-pound sexpot walk across the floor in a tight spandex outfit that exposed her distended stomach, sinewy musculature, and thin, translucent skin. “She’s totally hot.”

“She’s here all the time, and whenever I see her, all I can think about is running my hands along her protuberant vertebrae all the way down to her shriveled ass,” he continued, glancing up from his treadmill once more to get a good look at the woman’s seductive, shrunken breasts and long, corpselike legs. “Man, I just want to take her home and break her in half. It wouldn’t be that hard.”

According to Equinox staff members, the gorgeous emaciated woman joined the fitness center two years ago when she moved to the city for work, and immediately drew attention for being an absolute knockout, especially with her gaunt face and prematurely aged body. Since then, male and female members alike have frequently asked the identity of the stunning young woman with boney clavicles, jagged kneecaps, and sunken, hollow cheekbones.

Staffers said that just last week, no fewer than five secret admirers approached the information kiosk to inquire about the skeletal, withered woman who works out on the same treadmill every morning at 6 a.m.

“I don’t know what’s cuter, the way her sports bra clings to her flattened chest as she sweats, the way her elbows stick out at acute angles when she pumps her spindly arms, or the fact that you can wrap your hands all the way around the circumference of her thighs,” an anonymous admirer told reporters, adding that he gets “really turned on” whenever she bends over and flaunts her jutting tailbone. “The curves of her rib cage, the stunning watery eyes, the patch of shiny scalp peeking through her brittle, thinning hair—she’s basically got the whole package.”

“I mean, she obviously works hard for it,” he added, noting her rigorous workout routine and apparent commitment to starving herself. “I wonder if she’s single. Wait, what am I saying? There’s no way she is. Not with a cadaverous body like that.”

At press time, the anorexic hottie was on her sixth mile on the treadmill, looking as ravishing and underfed as ever.

yesterday at a to-remain-unnamed gym i saw a poor, unfortunate soul who couldn’t squat below parallel. i mean, he couldn’t even get parallel at all. with 65#. poor baby.

we drink beer and eat bacon cheeseburgers and still have better bodies than you.

we really are nice people i swear. no bullshit, no sacrifices, no excuses. everything in moderation and nothing half-assed. you know the drill.

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